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About Film & Animation / Student Member jack rider21/United States Groups :iconfemme-mode-sari: Femme-Mode-Sari
 
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Sheesh the Drama...
perhaps i should choose my words carefully from now on
actually been on hiatus for over 2 weeks now purdy people

and still am, just leeeeting you know~ <3

oh, and on November, 25 of this month, I, a 20 year old dork.

had my first kiss.

it was wet and kinda gross..i didnt like it at first but eh i can get used to it.
I finally haz skype now on my new iPhone 4

But since I was absent for sooooo long skype deleted my account and I lost all my contacts.

Which is fine!!

Saves me the trouble Of deleting peeps I don't talk ta anymore

So it's a fresh start for me~

I don’t have cartoon network channel anymore!!!!! Q n Q

 

 

FUCK. YOU. TURNER!!!!!

for writing that journal then this

is because...


as my mother told me my aunts passing not even an hour ago.

i...didn't really feel anything at the lost.

all i thought about was how was her death going to be processed? for example the children, i was concerned for them.

i was quite disturbed that

i did not cry or feel remotely sad...does that mean something is wrong with me? for feeling no remorse? am i really a bad person now?

have i finally lost my humanity?

so far 4 deaths have happen in my family during my life time.

the first being my gay uncle ronny who died of HIV- that he got from another man. plus he was part of a group of husbands who were married to women but committed adultery acts with the same sex- lord knows what else got spread around...

when i was told he died.

"huh..." was all i thought. we weren't close. so i really didn't care and i didn't know he was gay until long after he died by the slip of a tongue by my grandmother/his mother.
but he was my mothers favorite uncle and she mourned his death worse then everyone, so i pretended to cry and act sad about his lost for her sake only.
i love my mother and hate seeing her sad. it makes me sad.

the second being a distant grandfather that i was found of as a toddler- who died from drunk driving and crashed into a moving truck that somehow beheaded him.
we did not attend the funeral and i felt nothing about his lost.

the third being a uncle from my dads side of the family/my dads brother- who died from choking on his own vomit while he was drunk.
again i pretended to cry who tried to look sad at his funeral cuz everyone else was.
we were not close.

all these family losts ive never really felt remorse...and now my aunt is dead and all im thinking is- to be blunt:

"oh. another one? damn, thats too bad." thats the gist of it.

again dont get me wronged, i ...kinda... loved them. some more then others.

but

what does that make me?

am i really cruel and cold hearted?

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jack104
jack rider
Artist | Student | Film & Animation
United States
Dis my baby girl Waffles.
i also rp/ship my characters here as my temporary ask account for the adventure time fandom



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actually been on hiatus for over 2 weeks now purdy people

and still am, just leeeeting you know~ <3

oh, and on November, 25 of this month, I, a 20 year old dork.

had my first kiss.

it was wet and kinda gross..i didnt like it at first but eh i can get used to it.

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:iconakira-raikou:
Akira-Raikou Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015  Student General Artist
Happy birthday!! I miss you and your great art!
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:iconbigtimbears:
bigtimbears Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015
Happy birthday 
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:icontxtoonguy1037:
TXToonGuy1037 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015  Student General Artist
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:iconpalidiuz:
Palidiuz Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015
Happy Birthday!
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:iconsarispy56:
SariSpy56 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015  Student General Artist
Happy Birthday
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:iconlordravencake:
LordRavenCake Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Happy Birthday!!! :D
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:iconmarianasumdac:
marianasumdac Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Jack, i  wish from the bottom of my heart that you stay well. Please, Jack be strong. The world's best wishes to you. Happy Birthday.
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:icontheballetprincess:
TheBalletPrincess Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015
Happy birthday~! <3
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:iconzmorphcom:
zmorphcom Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I hope that you have a great birthday and I hope to see you back soon.
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:iconyimba:
Yimba Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015
Happy Birthday <X3 Hug Have your cake and eat it too Party 
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